GCS Counselors Meeting notes

I found the GCS Counselor's meeting to be very interesting and thought provoking! Here are some of the main points:

• Emotional Connections through video: The number one thing that motivates a person is having an emotional connection. By watching a video as an introduction, the students are emotionally activated and can easily relate to the video without talking about themselves. Video is the best emotional media that can be used in school. Here are some links to a few of my favorite video resources:
• http://gcsnc.connectwithkids.com/
• http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/video/index.html
• http://www.mariadismondy.com/2012/10/youtube-teaches-character/
• http://pinterest.com/jkl5502/videos-character-education/

• Similarities, not differences: Another thought-provoking concept mentioned at this meeting is that we should not show kids how they are different from one another, we need to show them how they are the same. It is natural for kids to pick up on the differences, but when they are unable to see how they are similar to others is when kids develop empathy for others. In a world where it is becoming "cool to be cruel", having a firm foundation on empathy can be a deciding factor between kids bullying others or being kind. 

• Extrinsic Motivation: The speaker also talked about how children today are primarily extrinsically motivated and that paradigm shift is leading to a huge increase in mental health issues in early adulthood (top 3: anxiety, depression, and narcissism). To illustrate the problem with being only extrinsically motivated, the speaker used a metaphor of leading a chicken with breadcrumbs to a certain destination. When the chicken reaches that destination, the bread crumbs stop and the chicken is left not knowing what to do or where they are at. The chicken is the child, the bread crumbs are the adults giving extrinsic rewards for doing the small things. Once the kids reach the destination (college), the breadcrumbs stop coming and they do not know what to do. This causes a lot of anxiety and depression. 

• "Comparison is the thief of joy"- Theodore Roosevelt- One study compared the happiness of two families- one with an income of 200k, the other with 60k. The study found that in general, there was not a difference in the happiness, UNLESS they were living next to each other. Your belongings and possessions alone do not determine how happy you are, but when you start comparing what you have to what someone else has, you become unhappy. 

National School Counseling Week

Happy National School Counseling week! Each morning we read morning announcements about how school counselors help kids succeed.(See the announcements here) The "big event" of the week, however, was a teacher and staff appreciation breakfast. After sending an email out to the teachers that morning, we went around to relieve teachers for a few minutes so they could get some breakfast. On the menu: coffee, donuts, muffins, fruit, and banana nut bread. I'd call it a success! I also decorated the table with a thank you note to the teachers and staff, and put out some "teacher jokes" on the table so teachers could be entertained ;)

Counseling Boys

I attended a counselor training that provided a lot of great ideas for working with boys. The speaker was Michael Gurian, Founder of the Gurian Institute (http://gurianinstitute.com/). He discussed how a male's brain is very different from a female's brain. For example, when a female's brain is in a resting/bored state, about half of her brain is still active (I cant remember the exact stats...). For a male's brain in a resting/bored state, nearly his entire brain shuts down (minus what he HAS to have to survive). Obviously, it would be difficult to talk to a male student when his brain has shut down, so here are some tips to remember when working with boys:

• Talk shoulder to shoulder instead of face to face. Allow the boy to not make eye contact with you.
• Toss a ball while talking. Do any kind of work while moving an object through space. "Tossing a ball opens the windows of the boy's soul" -M.Gurian
• Walk and talk
• Talk about things in your environment. Find similarities between an object in the environment and the situation. 
• Do not discuss a behavior incident immediately after it occurs. Try to wait several hours if possible. If you must talk to him right away, give him a few minutes of physical activity/service to do to allow him time to privately process the events. If he does not have this period of time to process the events, he may not be able to completely recall what has happened or how he felt (because of how the male brain works).
• Have male teachers from school lead a boy's group for struggling boys. They can discuss things that a female counselor could never completely understand. The counselor could come up with a suggested group agenda if needed.(male mentors at school)
• Use expressive arts
• Less verbal praise for general behavior, more praise for achievements or accomplishments
• Hang boy-friendly pictures up in the office (sports, insects, etc)
• Have an object for the boy to squeeze while talking to you (nerf ball, playdough)
• Give the boy responsibilities (at school and at home)
• If completing a writing assignment, allow them to draw a picture of the topic first. This provides the much needed visual aid to help them process the written assignment.
• This one was emphasized over and over: USE VISUALS! Group discussions should have a picture to reference. Use charts and diagrams. Give handouts. Watch video clips. Use Powerpoint presentations.
• Set goals and objectives.
• Ask what their father figure would say in any given situation
• Use humor.
• Dont try to talk to a boy while he is crying. Give him processing time